It's not that i dont care...

choke__hearts @ 2005-11-09T19:48:00

2005-11-10T00:48:42Z

_____golucky

thats me. kay.

choke__hearts @ 2005-10-28T16:15:00

2005-10-28T20:16:38Z

when i get the time and energy, maybe ill do up a new one... and maybe ill actually use it.

its a chill out night... what can i say?

2005-10-23T01:32:25Z

What Makes You.. by SheBangs12
Your name?
Your gender?
What makes you sexy?	Your legs
What makes you pretty?	Your style
What makes you loveable?	How amazing you are
What makes you fun?	Your love for everything
What makes you irresistable?	Your talant
What makes you cute?	Your clothes

Quiz created with MemeGen!

Are you hott? by evildj23
First Name
Age
Guy or Gal
Your hottness is	10...WOW! ARE U SINGLE?!?!

Quiz created with MemeGen!

choke__hearts @ 2005-10-04T16:32:00

2005-10-04T20:44:46Z

Bold what applies to you, obviously:
01. I have never kissed someone of the same sex on the lips.
02. I see a therapist.
03. I'm the youngest child.
04. I am drawn to things associated with sadness.
05. I have gauged earrings.
06. I wear black eyeliner every day.
07. I am extremely influenced by kindness.
08. I love to write.
09. I can't live without lipgloss.
10. I'm probably emotionally scarred.
11. I lived in Tahoe.
12. I spend money I have.
13. I'll be in college/university for over 4 years.- because im planning on like 8 years
14. I love designer handbags.
15. I've had a concussion before.
16. I'm not good with confrontation.
17. I loved the Backstreet Boys & NSYNC
18. I have more than a couple horrible memories.
19. I'm addicted to Degrassi.
20. I've tried writing poetry before.
21. My first kiss was unexpected.
22. I'm not a fan of rap.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I hate girls who are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. When I allow myself to get close to people, I get attached.
27. I am not straight.
28. I have way too many pairs of shoes.
29. I was into Hot Wheels as a child.
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. My room is painted a color other than white.
32. I cry very easily.
33. I'm always early.
34. I barely ever study for tests.
35. My birthday is my favorite holiday.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. I am a morning person.
38. I wish I were smarter.
39. I believe that it is wrong to be gay.
40. I think that its perfectly okay to be gay.
41. No one really knows me. ... maybe my mom
42. I don't have many bad hair days.
43. I sometimes fight with my parents.
44. I am passionate about my interests.
45. I have had the chicken pox.
46. I'm a hopeless romantic.
47. I feel empty sometimes.
48. I am/was most likely clinically depressed at a point in my life.
49. I am no longer depressed.
50. I am very outgoing.
51. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
52. I can be very insecure.
53. I don't notice it, but I'm told I'm very softspoken.
54. I hate ignorant people.
55. I love the color yellow.
56. I love guys that play the guitar.
57. I state the obvious.
58. I'm a happy person.
59. I have absolutely no self-confidence.
60. I've contemplated suicide.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get jealous.
63. I love to play video games.
64. I love John Mayer.
65. I get more upset when I see an animal hurt than a person.
66. I'm a vegetarian/vegan/don't eat beef.
67. I've had a crush on a teacher before.
68. I am too forgiving.
70. I have a good sense of direction.
71. I've never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
72. I've played a musical instrument for more than 5 years.
73. I can function perfectly well without a girlfriend/boyfriend.
74. I love kisses on the forehead.
75. I love the color blue.
76. I don't sew.
77. I am not addicted to drugs.
78. I wear contacts. .. they are not color contacts- promise
79. I hate it when people say they hate Bush just because he is a moron.
80. I hate Bush.
81. I don't take criticism well.
82. Conformity is stupid.
83. Chris Carrabba is one of the sexiest men alive.
84. Chris Carrabba should die.
85. I love my family.
86. I don't mind getting shots.
87. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things.
88. I always wanted to learn to play the drums.
89. I can be too hard on myself.
90. I'm probably going to have premarital sex.
91. I don't like my nose.
92. I am very religious.
93. I still act like a little kid.
94. I am ridiculously indecisive.
95. I believe in a higher power or some form of an afterlife.
96. I love music.
97. I have problems letting go of people.
98. Jesse Lacey writes some of the most amazing lyrics ever.
99. I don't really like ice cream.
100. I am in love.

its lonely at the top

2005-09-22T10:59:00Z

so lately i havnt had time to stop and breathe. School and soccer are my life, having soccer everyday of the weekend kills me. i was talking to my brother from Atlanta last night and he said how happy he was that everything was going so well for me... and the moment he said that i realized that i didnt even know myslef how things were- i had to be told how my life was going. it sucks not being able to take a step back from everything once in a while when things are going so fast.

i fell like i've lost my bestfriends since school started. i have had zero time to hangout because the couple of hours i may have in the afternoons i take out to be alone so i can stay sane and not lose myself in this. but after i sat and thought about it.. its pretty lonely at the top. things have been going so well for me lately- but besides my mom i feel like i've lost touch with the people who mean the most to me and i've drifted from all the people who i can talk to. i dont really have any one who will just sit and listen to me go off and understand me like i used to.

choke__hearts @ 2005-08-01T20:22:00

2005-08-02T02:23:01Z

i got bored. so i went through and chose the most meaningful lyrics in some forreal good songs.

"I wonder why we listen to poets when nobody gives a fuck"- Wilco

"You said 'don't let love break you down'"- Azure Ray

"Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under your breath."- Broken Social Scene

"what is love and what is hate, And why does it matter? is to love just a waste, why does it matter? -The Flaming Lips

"I spent the summer wasting
The time was passed so pleasantly
Say cheerio to books now
The only things I'll read are faces
I spent the summer wasting"- Belle & Sebastian

"Just kiss me before I go."- Saves the Day

"Now I know you're not the only starfish in the sea"- Cyrkle

then I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh...

Oh...Oh...Oh...Oh...

Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Oh... -Foo Foghters song is my fav right now. hm :]

its pretty shitty today.

2005-07-29T21:38:04Z

it amazes me how everything thats been bothering a person over a long period of time can all come up to the surface and explode out like it does sometimes.

im so tired of going through the motions

2005-07-22T04:34:05Z

you know your summer's gone down hill when you start praying for time to go by faster so that school will come. i need school more than i need anything. even though theres still 2 years left before i get to leave for college, im about to start couting down the days. i need school to keep me occupied since at this point i dont care about having any sort of social life. i mean i have one- but god it isnt my top priority anymore. the sad thing is that none of my friends feel that way. i am sick of the whole routine. parties bore me, people bore me, this town bores me. there arent any new people in my life, and i really love meeting new people. the excitement is gone. nothing ever happens for me here, and this isnt the kind of place where i can make something happen for myself. i realize just how much i want to leave Virginia Beach, and i will work as hard as is necessary to do so. nobody understands why i want to go away for college, and i dont really understand how anybody wouldnt want to. i dont even love my friends like i used to. everyone is so transparent... there is not one person (outside of my family) that i feel like i can count on. i need new friends, and its not too possible here. the two weeks in michigan didnt help how i feel at all. it just made me realize that mentally i can leave here and not miss a single thing as long as i know its there for me to come back to. i need to make my life happen... these two years cannot go by fast enough. i have a huge amount planned for my life- i want to make a difference. and now i see that all this shit that i do to be "cool" means nothing, and doesnt do anyhting but get me off track and ive been off track for what 2 years now. i know what i need to do and im ready.

just because theyre fun

2005-07-19T00:04:00Z

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Elizabeth Jane Smith
Birthday:	july 3, 1989
Birthplace:	Fairfax County, Virginia
Current Location:	Virginia Beach
Eye Color:	Blue
Hair Color:	Blonde
Height:	5'4''
Right Handed or Left Handed:	righty
Your Heritage:	eurotrash
The Shoes You Wore Today:	flipflops. so exciting
Your Weakness:	pizza and cookies- food in general
Your Fears:	not living to my potential
Your Perfect Pizza:	cheese pizza from Lisa's Pizza in NC
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	get freaking good grades
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	lol- i hate that
Thoughts First Waking Up:	i wake up too early
Your Best Physical Feature:	...my eyes, i think or maybe my hair- def nothing else
Your Bedtime:	i never sleep.
Your Most Missed Memory:	my old neighborhood with amanda
Pepsi or Coke:	iced tea
MacDonalds or Burger King:	baco tell
Single or Group Dates:	group dates because other wise i get too nervous i think
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	shit, nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	chocolate is an addiction
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Chai Latte
Do you Smoke:	occasionally :\|
Do you Swear:	if its needed
Do you Sing:	yes, and i dont care who hears me
Do you Shower Daily:	uh showers are for fags
Have you Been in Love:	no way. dont believe.
Do you want to go to College:	AUBURN UNIVERSITY... im counting on at least 8 years of school
Do you want to get Married:	if it fits in with my life then sure
Do you belive in yourself:	sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	on circle rides
Do you think you are Attractive:	not in the face. pretty is better left to other girls
Are you a Health Freak:	i was. but im addicted to food and sleeping so no.
Do you get along with your Parents:	heck yes.
Do you like Thunderstorms:	heck no.
Do you play an Instrument:	i know a few chords on the guitar. go me.
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	"you had the best times youll never remember with me" (yes)
In the past month have you Smoked:	...smoked what?
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	i dont think so, but i cant remeber anything before vacation
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	no...
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	shopping is another addiction i have
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	oreos gross me out
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	honestly, no.
In the past month have you been on Stage:	nope
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no way.
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	why yessir :x
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	keychainssss
Ever been Drunk:	ive been tanked a few times pretty good, yes.
Ever been called a Tease:	HA! heck yes.
Ever been Beaten up:	no. i beat bitches up.
Ever Shoplifted:	well sure?
How do you want to Die:	old?
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	pschologist
What country would you most like to Visit:	England
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	blue or green
Favourite Hair Color:	not picky at all with this one
Short or Long Hair:	longish
Height:	taller than me by like 4 inches
Weight:	anything slim
Best Clothing Style:	i hate when guys wear running shoes and nautica thats about it AnNaBaNoNa007: id be like...i hate that dragon shit
Number of Drugs I have taken:	only 1 worth mentioning
Number of CDs I own:	i few good burned CDs, thanks to my brother and his piracy
Number of Piercings:	two! one for each ear
Number of Tattoos:	zip
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	one.
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

so this is what it feels like to have a life?

2005-06-15T23:55:08Z

i went to the beach today. and i had the greatest time ever. (minus the encounter with a past mistake)

i saw everyone that i love, everyone that means something to me. the girls were all there throughout the day, the soccer boys whom i adore, and some salem kids that i miss terribly. i was even glad to see people that hate me there. yeah, a whole group of people. they can go to hell :] exboyfriends suck.

i got a little color on my pale ass stomach. maybe tomorrow i wont be the whitest person on the beach.

god it feels good to feel this way again ♥

the birds outside my window offer no relief.

2005-05-29T00:15:12Z

apathy-Lack of interest or concern, especially regarding matters of general importance or appeal; indifference.
bore-To fatigue with dullness or tedium: tire, weary.
pitiless-Having no pity; merciless.
resentment-The quality or state of feeling bitter
distress-A troubled or anxious state of mind
empty-Devoid; destitute

choke__hearts @ 2005-05-13T22:24:00

2005-05-14T02:33:09Z

i miss my best friend more than anything. its aweful to think for like half a year or more, he was the only person i ever really cared to talk to. i hate to think how the only person i trusted, is gone. if there is one person im dying to talk to its him. i hate how when you find a friend who doesnt take advantage of you and doesnt judge you no matter what you say it only take one mistake to lose it. its my fualt. i was trying to be honest to him, but what i said was not the truth... maybe i fucked up too much and wasnt there for him. i really miss my best friend.

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back/but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own
I know it's not the smartest thing to do
we just can't seem to get it right
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar
But with all my inspiration goneit's not getting me very far
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand
we've got nothing left to prove

And I didn't mean to meet you then
we were just kids
And I didn't mean to give you chills
the way that I kiss
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did
No, you didn't mean to love me back
But you did

god, i miss him.